Friday, June 12, 2015

Loving Each Other

Why can't birth moms love and support each other. I understand not all birth moms love adoption or are proud of their choice. I am constantly trying to build up fellow birth moms. I want them to feel loved. Not every adoption can be perfect. We are all humans.

I'm tired of being told that I live in a fog and am delusional for thinking that my birth son is happy and well adjusted. My birth son loves me. He knows who I am and that I love him unconditionally. I am always honest with him. He has had an amazing life because of my choice. He is proud of me.

I made the difficult choice to place him because my situation wasn't the best. My birth son deserved more than I could give him at the time. I'm proud of my choice. I love the young man he has grown to be. He is loving, thoughtful, smart and understanding. We have a very special relationship. He is one of my closest friends now.

I have a wonderful relationship with his parents. We have worked hard at it and over time we grew to become a family. When I placed him 17 years ago, all I asked for was one visit a year, his birthday. I didn't know what to ask for. They not only invited me to celebrate his birthday, but set up monthly visits with me. We celebrated Birth Mother's Day every year together. As my birth son has gotten older, I now spend that special day with him and my son. Just the three of us. Last year I treated his mom. To lunch on Birth Mother's Day. I wanted to celebrate both of us. I also hand delivered flowers to her at work the day before. I have grown very close to her over the years and we are not only family but friends.

We all need to remember that our journeys are all unique. Don't judge someone because they love or hate adoption. Just support. I have chosen to be happy and positive in my journey. It was what was best not only for me, but also for my birth son, his family and my family. I'm not saying that someone who has a different view than me is negative. Im just stating my opinion. I do ask that you don't push your views onto me. I am pro-adoption. I truly believe that adoption is a beautiful and loving decision.

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