Friday, June 12, 2015

An Adoptee's View

My name is Lucas, and I am Roanne's birthson. People always seem to be really surprised when I tell them I am adopted, and always ask me a bunch of questions, which is understandable because I would have questions too. I'll share some of the questions I get most often with everybody, because I don't mind sharing!! Here it goes!
"Do you know your real mom and dad?"
This is always the very first question I'm asked by everybody. I always just explain that I don't know my birth father, but since it's an open adoption, I do know my birth mother, and I usually state that she lives near me.
"Do you ever see your birth mom?"
I know this is a huge question for everybody, because usually when you hear about adoptions, it's through an orphanage or something like that. I explain to people that I see Roanne multiple times a year, and am usually going to see her quite soon! People then usually tell me how lucky I am, and I always reply with, "I know! We have a great relationship," (I mean I'm obviously very lucky, I got graced with Ro's good looks and charm).
"How old were you when you were adopted?"
This question is always the hardest for people to wrap their heads around. I always explain that I was technically adopted before I was born, as the adoption was arranged and set up before my birth. My parents and Ro had come together quite by chance, and everything was arranged from there.
Those are the most common questions I get asked when people find out I'm adopted. As for the relationship Ro and I have, I couldn't ask for anything better. I get to see her all the time, and I even text her on occasion! I get to have another side to my family, and have great relationships with everyone. Roanne and I often go to the zoo, or other places, with my half-brother Austin. I am also currently in a relationship with a girl named Ciara, and we've been together for over two years now. Roanne and everyone else have been so accepting of her, and so supportive, that I don't know what I would do without them. Ciara also gets along great with everybody, which means the world to me. Austin now has somebody to defend him whenever I'm picking on him. My family has been also very inclusive to Ro and her parents, which means so much to me as well. Everyone even comes over for Christmas Eve every year! All of my siblings (including myself) refer to Ro's parents as Grandma and Grandpa, because they are our grandparents. We're one big happy family!
Now I'll explain as best as I can my views on open adoption. One of my brothers was also adopted when he was a baby, much in the same way I was, except his adoption was closed. Usually, there's nothing to it for him, he doesn't really care. But every once in a while, he is driven up the wall with curiosity, and it's information my parents can't give him. I know I'm extremely lucky to have an open adoption, and I think it's important for an adopted child to be able to ask these questions that they are inevitably going to have, and to get answers. There are some cases where an open adoption might not be an option, and that's okay. But I believe that when possible, an open adoption is the best way to go.
So, to sum everything up, I am extremely grateful for the way my life turned out, being able to know Roanne, and her family. Ro acts as an inspiration for so many things, because of her strength. She has inspired me to take pictures, and strive to take good ones. She inspires me every day to be the best person I can be. I could never imagine what my life would be like without Roanne, nor would I want to.

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