Thursday, October 15, 2015
This December will be 18 years since I placed my birth son. I have never doubted my decision to place him through an open adoption. It wasn't easy but I wanted more for him then I could provide. My life was a struggle. I made the best choice for the both of us. Eight years later I married my husband and a year later I had our son. Here is where my doubts come in. I have struggled mentally and emotionally as a mom. My son is my world. Daily I wonder if I made the right choice. Am I what is best for my son? Doesn't he deserve more than what I can offer? I know my circumstances were different. My life isn't where I expected it to be. I'm struggling. I want to give my son the world like I did my birth son. I want both of my boys to be proud of me. I'm working on putting my trust into God. This is a new concept for me. I'm working on believing in myself. I have an amazing tribe who are there for me everyday. Life isn't easy but nothing worth it ever is.